I was 11 years old when i first had been opened up to this world of Sexual assault. A boy in my class used to do this to women in his home city because it was acceptable there. And so he went around and touched me and thirteen other girls for 3 years straight. We had reported it all came forward at different times and nothing was done about it. I had my chest grabbed by this guy. He smacked my ass in class nothing was done. It kept happening until I graduated. I was finally able to escape from the horribly elementary school i was in. It didn’t get much better for me in high school. I was 14 when I entered high school. Grade nine i met this friend of a friend and he had a party. This guy i would assume is a junior or sophomore whatever grade 11 is and i was just a baby. This guy invited me to his 18 birthday party on June 22, 2018. He ended up raping me. I was really tiny and under weight. Im all over when it comes to talking about this because i don’t know where to start because its so much. I essentially got to this guys house his siblings, and other friends i knew and he knew where there. My “friend” told me to get to know this guy better and i thought it would be a good idea so i could make new friends. So i tried we started talking and i was friendly of course i was but i wasn't flirty. Um this guy showed me a mickey mouse video game he had and taught me how to play. At one moment he got up and shut the basement door and came back and he said it was too loud. I had asked him to keep it open because i wasn’t comfortable with it shut. This guy was about 250 pounds maybe a little more and fairly strong. And well he sat beside me while i played the game and first put his hand on my thigh i froze i didn’t know what to do in that situation. After he had removed his hand from my thigh he grabbed the controller from my hand and put it on the bed so i unfortunately went and tried to grab it off his bed. This is how i got lured into his room. We were in the basement area to start and then he lured me into his room with the controller as i was upset he took it from me because i was playing this really cool game. And he ended up pushing me onto his bed from behind. He had held my neck down from the back so my face was pushed into his bed. He had tied my arms and legs together and then placed me on my stomach with my hips in the air. I cried. I tried to yell but my face was in his pillow so no matter how hard i tried to punch, kick and yell. It didn’t work. I cried and kept crying. He ended up pulling my clothes off of me. I was only 14. A baby. Just a baby still. I was still wearing bright colourful underwear that were babyish. And then thats when i heard him go and open his drawer. And he started raping me. It hurt. Really badly. All i can remember is being frozen in fear and just crying. I was helpless. I couldn’t do anything. I had no way of doing anything. It feels like he targeted me and thought it through…
It made and still makes me feel extremely dirty. I feel like it was my fault because if i hadn’t gone into that bedroom it wouldn’t have happened. If i hadn’t been around this kid he wouldn’t have touched me. But how was i supposed to know. It angers me and makes me cry still. I struggle with the slightest touch. Poking etc makes me uncomfortable. I don’t trust people anymore. It scares me to try and trust someone. I never know what to say to someone else who has gone through this because i don’t know what to tell myself.
