I was sexually assaulted by a family friend I called my grandfather. Every summer i would go and visit him and his wife for the break and I would help out with the store they own in Keaton Beach Fl. When I was 5 I went and slept in his bed and woke up with his genitalia in my hands, his wife was sleeping on the couch and I waited until he left to tell his white what had happened. She called my mom and then called her daughter who is a psychiatrist and her daughter basically said I was lying and too young to know what I was talking about. My mom taught me at a young age that girls and boys have different parts and boys should never touch a girl in her privates and a girl should never touch a boy in his. So I knew what I saw, but they put into my head that I was lying and from then on I never spoke up about everything else that was going on up until I turned 13. On my last visit to see them during Summer break my mom could tell I was nervous. I wasn’t excited to go. She kept asking what’s wrong but I thought if I told her she wouldn’t believe me because I had already said something and I got called a liar. While I was there, not only did his wife leave for texas but she left him and i alone in a house in the woods alone together. To say the least I was scared shitless. The night she left I layed down on the couch with blue Nike shorts on and a long oversized pink and blue tie dyed shirt on with a bra on might I add, he walked in with tighty whiteys on and a baby blue robe and sat on the couch I was laying on, took his hand and rubbed my leg up into my shorts, and then rubbed under my shirt and then slowly went under my bra. I got up and went to my room and cried because I knew the worst was to come. At this time I didn’t have a phone, no way to contact my parents other than a tablet and I found apps that allowed my tablet to have a phone number. It was 3:34 am and he was still awake he walked in my room as I’m crying and panicking and sits on the bed and holds me down as I’m screaming and he does the worst you could imagine. I got picked up the next day, and then within a week it was back to school, I still hadn’t told anyone and I was thinking about ending my life. I sat in the back of the classroom taking scissors to my wrist hoping the pain I felt inside would just move to my wrist so I didn’t think about what had happened the week prior.
This made me feel vulnerable and weak. I would say SPEAK UP, don’t hold back no matter how you feel, even if they don’t believe you at first. KEEP SPEAKING UP, don’t back down. You are more powerful than you know!
