He was my best friend… He was sleeping on me and my roommates couch at the time because he was in between jobs and didn’t have anywhere to go. Most nights I would let him sleep in my bed if there were lots of people over being loud. That’s how much I trusted him. I woke up to it. I immediately told him to stop and he did. It hurt so bad. I went to the bathroom and cleaned up the blood. I told myself for so long that it couldn’t have been what i thought it was because when i asked him to stop he did; regardless, I was asleep and I didn’t have any say. I told my friends but none of it changed anything. I hate to say that because it sounds so discouraging to tell other people that might have gone through the same thing. But sadly, no one stopped being friends with him. I then went silent about it for some time and it hurt so much, no longer being able to talk to him. I used to tell him everything but i couldn’t talk to him about what i was feeling because he caused it. I think he knew what he did was wrong but he never showed it and we never talked about it. Then he almost did it to one of our other friends. Everyone finally started listening and cut contact with him. I eventually found better friends who listen and care about me. I’m still healing and trying not to invalidate my own feelings which is hard and i know will take some time but i deserve to feel happy again.
Don’t let people keep you quiet. It’s scary to speak up but the right people will listen and care. Anyone who doesn’t listen is not a true friend.
