Back when i was 16, i was really close with these two guys, we were like best friends, my sisters 20th birthday party was being planned and i asked if i could invite them, she didn’t mind so when the day of her birthday came they showed up, we were all just drinking and having fun. After a while i somehow ended up upstairs in my bedroom with the two guys and i was nearly blackout drunk, i cant remember what happen from this point onwards but i’ve got videos showing what was happening. Another while later one of the guys decides to leave as my cousin said he was with them for the remainder of the night, I was left upstairs extremely drunk not realising what’s going on, the guy was a bit drunk but definitely not as bad as me. Fast forward to the morning i wake up with him in my bed, i’m confused and scared, i realise i have no underwear on and only my pyjama pants on and the same top from the night before, I drag him into the bathroom and immediately ask if we had sex, he replied with no but said he done other stuff, i was relieved but felt so disgusted with myself blaming myself for getting so drunk and blaming myself for inviting him. After about a week he went telling all of his friends about what he done, as if he was proud, he told my now boyfriend (best friend at the time) and he immediately came and told me what he said i honestly couldn’t believe it.
Words cant even describe how i felt, it was probably the hardest thing I've pulled myself through alone. I was too scared to get help at the time thinking people would judge me, i eventually told my sister after a few months and she was nothing but supportive. Honestly the only thing to say is that you will get through it, it’s tough as fuck but it will get better i promise, please talk to someone and tell them what happened, get help,