I was 18, in a relationship with a guy i had known for a year. He began touching me whilst i was sleeping, and most nights i woke up to him touching me without my permission. And i would try to move away, but he continued. I could not speak only move away as I had just woken up. This happened multiple times, and to be honest it might have happened without me waking up as well. We were only together for a month as i broke up with him after one night it was so bad i actually said that i want to sleep. I woke up so angry that morning but i could not remember why, as the hours flew by i started remember. And as I talked to him about it he was very understanding, and said that he understood how I felt. But when I said to him that I can’t be with you he totally changed and said «you’ll need to warn guys that you don’t like this». That made me very clear about that i was doing the right decision.
It made me feel unsafe. Because this was a person I was so close with, and he did this to me in a very vulnerable sate. And I struggle with trusting men after this point, and I am scared of sleeping in the same bed as someone. Because of what he said to me I thought well that is not a normal thing somebody has to say before they fall asleep next to someone, that they do not want to be sexually assaulted whilst they are sleeping. So it has made me put more guards up. And what i’d like to say to somebody who experiences the same type as me is that it is okay to say that it is sexual assault. It is okay to feel what you feel, and use this time to be grateful of yourself and build yourself up. Because you did not make this happen, it is not your fault, and you should not need to say that this should not be done to you because it is a known fact that sexual assault is not okay.
