When I was ten years old, I was on a cruise with my family and i was in a hot tub with my younger brother. They were playing Hotel Transylvania 3 on a big screen so me and my brothers backs were turned away and our whole backside was facing the other strangers in the hot tub. Over the course of the movie a teenage boy repeatedly went underwater so no one (including me) could see him and went over to me and grabbed my butt maybe fifty times. I was obviously confused what was going on so at first I just shrugged it off. After a while it started to really bother me so I turned around to see if I could see who it was and ask them to stop. I couldn’t see anyone but not wanting to disrupt the movie for the other people but also wanting them to stop, I turned around and quietly said please stop to the group of teenage boys laughing but of course none of them acknowledged me. It didn’t stop. I was reduced to tears and got to the point where I got out of the hot tub without a towel in November (and it was windy) because i couldn’t take it anymore. I was wearing a one piece swimsuit that even had sleeves.
For years I hated myself for letting that happen and not leaving immediately or just not getting in at all. I didn’t tell anyone but I thought about it at least once a day. Not until recently had I realized that even thought I wasn’t technically sexually assaulted, holding this with me was negatively affecting my day to day life. I was so scared of something like that happening again that for a few years I never wore a swimsuit without a cover up or clothes on top. I realized that the only way to get better and have peace of mind about the whole thing was to talk about it. I talked to four of my closest friends (on three different occasions only going into detail on two of them) about my experience to learn that they had all been in similar experiences and three of them were much more serious and severe. Talking about this thing that had happened to me helped me to realize I wasn’t alone and shouldn’t be ashamed. I still think of it sometimes but now I know it wasn’t my fault.
