Anonymous- 19

When I had JUST turned 14, this guy who was 18 was showing interest in me and it made me feel special. (Keep in mind I’d already been SAed on a school trip in 8th grade and I had pleaded with him to stop but he didn’t.) Eventually, we were driving around in his truck (with fully tinted windows…) and he stopped and asked if I’d ever sucked someone’s dick. I said no and he asked if I wanted to. I said “Not really” (I was afraid to outright say no again and be hurt like I previously had been) and he asked if I was sure, locked the doors, and pulled down his pants, exposing himself. He was already erect even though nothing was said or done to cause him to be. I once again said I didn’t really want to, and he begged me to and told me he would return favors. I stayed hesitant, and he pushed my head towards his dick. I just had my mouth open and he technically did all the work by moving my head. I told my therapist about it a few months later, and she told me I had 24 hours to report it or she’d have to. The next day, my mom took me to the police department and I told them what happened. They told me to make an appointment to meet with a forensic nurse who would ask me more questions. At this appointment, there was a one way mirror that detectives were on the other side of, feeding her these questions. After this appointment, the detectives told my mom that they couldn’t proceed with any charges since i never said “No”, that we were close in age, and that his father was an important doctor in the area. The man who did this to me is now an EMT, in a position of somewhat power.

I felt very invalidated throughout this entire process. I never wanted to report it, but when I did, they made me feel stupid for not responding correctly to the situation. To anyone who’s been through something similar, you did not do anything wrong, our system is just messed up. It breeds men who think they can do whatever they want (and then get away with it). And the justice system favors these men, which is unfair to women everywhere.

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