I was 13 when I got assaulted the first time. I fell in love with a boy the same age as me, he was the first boy that had shown interest in me and I got blinded by it. He always told me that no one would ever love me but him and that the only good thing about me was my body. I thought it was true and was scared that no one would love me besides him. I was raped for two months and I knew that it wasn't right, but I was so scared to not have anyone love me that I couldn't get away, I was terrified of him and what he would do to me if I said no or break up with him. Finally I got the courage to block him everywhere and I felt free again, I spent 4 months scared that he would show up at my school or house, but he didn't. I still live in the same area as him and still scared that we will bump into each other and it has happens a few times but I have just left if he is where I am. 6 year later I'm still struggling with what happened and I finally told someone the whole story a month ago, I am really proud of myself for that.
I wish someone told me that I wasn't alone and it's NEVER your fault no matter what others say. It gets easier and you can and will get through it, talk about it at our own pace and never be afraid to seek help.