I endured over 800 counts of rape. My ex-boyfriend would rape me and torture me for hours. He would strangle me until my eyes were bloodshot. He would then urinate on me and laugh. He would lick my tears and tell me how he was getting started. There were so many days I crawled on the floor and begged him to stop. Screamed for help. Help never came. There were days I could not sit due to the pain. Days when I was bleeding from the rapes. Men like this don’t stop. They never will. All we can do is find the strength in ourselves, and fight back. I fought back by going through the court system, but I never received justice in a court of law. He was never charged with a single count of rape even though my rape exam had visible injuries present. I had a bruised cervix, bruising on my breasts and genitals. It wasn’t enough to the court system. My voice did not matter to them. Know that I would do it all over again. I found peace in speaking out. Peace is different for every victim. My message to whomever is reading this is for you to know that you are enough. You matter. The rape is not your fault. Life isn’t about what happens to you, but what you do with it that defines you. You define yourself and no one else. Find your own strength and love yourself again for who you are.
National Sexual Assault Hotline
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